Miss.California - I ain't mad at chew

I can’t stand it anymore, this whole Miss USA thing has really pissed me off, and the discourse surrounding it is just as disturbing. Now before I continue, (because I am sure to pissed others off in turn) let me make this clear:

Personally I support gay marriage, I think that if God has an issue about it, then those who have transgressed will certainly know it when they com face to face (or burning bush—not a lesbian pun) with her/him. I think there is enough shit for us to do on this planet, why don’t we let God take care of his/her own business. Further more I think the Heteros have done such an abysmal job at marriage that the privilege should be revoked. If you drive and fuck up enough times they pull you license, so… We like to talk about the sanctity of the institution yet we have reality show competitions that are races to the alter, what’s that about? Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Lopez have single handedly dropped our numbers, and they are following in the footsteps of serial matrimonialist Elizabeth Taylor. So ye without sin cast the first stone. I say let the Gays have at it, how much worse can they do?

More seriously, I can’t understand where it really affects any heterosexual anyway, it’s not like anyone would force you to marry someone of the same sex if you don’t want to. It’s a fear and control issue - like abortion. If we live in a country of freedoms especially of religion then I don’t think the laws should have the powers to legislate one’s personal choices, and what is more personal then who you chose to spend your life with, leave your belongings to when you pass, or if you chose not to become a parent. So having said that, back to the matter at hand.

What the hell! First let’s take the issue of Master Shit stirrer Perez Hilton. I read his website, I do - I hate to admit it but there it is. But the thing I find so interesting about him is his transformation. When he started the site he was an equal opportunity hater, he was fat, really unattractive, he was the kid who was bullied gets revenge. Big up to Tina Fey because I can coin a syndrome – Mean Girls Syndrome- and Perez has fallen victim, as soon as he got the same power and prestige as those people he had been dissing (and he lost the weight, stopped trying to camouflage his feeling unattractive with crazy hair colors and zany wardrobe choices) he became them- the very thing that he railed against- and worse. It’s like ex-smoker are more vigilant and annoying then the people who have never smoked… same principal. Since he created his persona around being mean and hateful, now anointed with power he has Carte blanche, and seems to view it as his “Job” to be offensive. At this point he deserves a bonus because unlike those bankers he has exceeded his quota of nastiness. I’m not prude, (well no so much) but there is something in the way he uses the term Bitch that grates on my nerves, I think it’s the bitter gay man, thing that I hear, it’s almost like you can hear his jealousy of that the object of his venom has a vagina. It must be hard to be nothing at all what you so much want to be.
Back to the issue:

I am not upset at his question, it was loaded, and salacious, okay, either way no matter who answered it and how it was going to get airplay weeks after. Then it happened, Miss. California actually replied with her true and unapologetic opinion- the same opinion I might add that is held by our current President. She believes that “Marriage’ is between a mad and a woman, a shocker? Um not so much. Why would it be when she represents a state that voted no on Prop 8, apparently she is aligned the people she was selected to represent for her state, country and potentially the Universe.

Being honest potentially cost her the crown and started a media storm on both sides of the issue. What bothers me most is the way some have chosen to speak out against her. Perez took to his blog and said that Miss California lost not because she of her opinion but because she was a stupid bitch. Really?! And she was stupid because…She thinks differently then you, and she has the courage to say is regardless of what millions might think? Funny a man named Mohammad Ali did the same thing when he refused to go to Vietnam, hummm...Was he a stupid bitch, I dare Perez to say that to his face.

Here’s the thing, don’t ask a question if you can’t handle the answer. And another thing, the beauty and the difficulty of this country is that not only do we have certain inalienable rights (that of which I think the right to marriage whomever you chose is one) we also have freedom of religion (which Miss California evoked in her reply) and freedom of speech. You get them all you can’t pick and choose, we have to suck it up it’s like Facts, of Life, “You take the good you take the bad…” Look as an African American woman I know that there are people out there who hate me just because, (I would prefer that they get to know me and I can give them far better reasons to hate me – a little melanin is the least of the issues) it kind of goes with the costume, if you are Black, Jewish, Gay or any other headliner for hate you kind of expect it, - well not expect it but you can hardly be surprised. It doesn’t make it right but come on we know the deal.

It wasn’t so much what she said, the majority of the state said when they pulled those leavers, it was THAT she said it, she SAID it. That is quite different from closing a curtain and anonymously voting no. Personally I have to respect that, I don’t agree with it but I respect it, will she ever change her mind? perchance, hopefully but either way she is entitled to her opinion and she lives in country where she should not be persecuted for having and voicing it especially when asked. Now if she had run up through gay pride like, “Ya’ll shouldn’t be able to marry! Down with gay marriage” well then I wouldn’t be able to help a sister but, if you ask well…

On a final note, her statement went from her not supporting same sex marriages to her being a Gay hating homophobe- not fair. Geoff Kors, the executive director of EQCA was on Bill O’Reilly saying as much and heaven help me I ACTUALLY had to agree with O’Reilly for once when he (for his own reasons which may not be the same as mine) stopped him from taking it there.

What is a shame is that she never got the opportunity to have a conversation that might have revealed or clarified her stance on the issue, Obama did, he is for the idea of having civil unions carry the same legal weight as Marriage, which will allow couples to have the same legal rights a man and a woman in marriage, thereby separating semantics from legality- once you have the same rights you can fight about what you call it until the cows come home.

The reality is she’s a beauty contestant, not a politician, Perez, and any one else if you’re Pissed at this girl, then go toilet paper your neighbors house, after all that’s probably the person you really should be worried about, not a chick in a feather dress, eyelashes a spray tan and a tiara!

Don’t stress, we will get there! In time, all in due time.